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A while ago, I found
myself jokingly using a nickname for those people who were not
familiar with the Catholic faith: 'normals'. This was a funny way for
me to remark on the fact that we as Catholics, and Jesuits in
particular, can use a lot of jargon that is unfamiliar to the rest of
contemporary society. It was a reminder to myself not to use arcane
terminology when simpler words sufficed. However, it got me to
thinking.
We believers love to be
counter-cultural. If the world moves one way, many of us are inclined
to move the other. If you are a believer, I ask you the following
question: do you see yourself as normal and the rest of the
non-believing or different-believing world as abnormal? Or is it the
other way: is the world normal and we ourselves the ones who are
different?
Most of us encounter both
of these ways of thinking at one point or another in our lives. And
both ways of thinking have their positive and negative aspects.
If we, the
believers, are normal and the world is abnormal, then it can lead to
a healthy rejection of the unspoken assumptions of our culture: that
material wealth is the measure of success, that people are at their
core self-interested, and that autonomy is the highest good. All of
these ideas are important to question in order to come to truth
through a real struggle. However, on the negative side, if we think
our group is normal and that the world is broken, we can fall into a
siege mentality. We can reject other people and judge them harshly by
our standards. And we can interpret questions as attacks.
Let's flip it
around. Suppose we believers are the abnormals and the world is
normal. This idea takes a bit of courage to examine. We can look at
ourselves from an outsider's perspective and realize that we use a
lot of jargon, that many of our actions do not seem consistent, and
that what we affirm is so paradoxical it is often very difficult for
one who does not believe to understand. These realizations open us up
to communication, to understanding the perspectives of non-believers.
But this way of looking at the world has negative points too. It can
tempt us to compromise too much, to be afraid to speak the truth as
we see it.
Christ, in this
Sunday's Gospel, provides us with a possible resolution to this
quandary. He declares boldly that, "Whoever is not against us is
for us" (Mark 9). This is not just an attitude for Christ's
followers to take up. It is a general attitude that leads any human
being to right relationship. Everybody appears normal to themselves.
So when we encounter a stranger who doesn't share our perspective, we
must assume that what they say or do makes sense to them and that we
are all seeking the good.
When I encounter
someone who is not a believer, I do not think of myself as 'one
within' addressing 'one without', nor vice versa. Rather, I recall
that Christ has given me to love the person. So my first job is to
listen because it's much easier to love somebody you understand. I
won't always understand completely. And I won't flinch from an honest
disagreement if I must stand up for my principles. But I am genuinely
interested in the other person and that person's perspective.
We are not genuinely
interested when we only listen to someone in order to discover that
person's error. Nor do we love when we use the time when the other is
speaking just to plan what we ourselves will say. Genuine love
requires genuine attention, and a genuine willingness to be
challenged and changed by what another person says. At the same time,
when I look to someone not of the faith with love, I am better able
to translate and represent my own perspective to them, perhaps to
challenge and change that person too.
Reflect on your own
experiences. Examine how attentively you listen to the perspectives
of people who disagree with you and how much love is in your heart
when you speak to them. Examine also how afraid you are not to fit in
and whether you shy away from conflicts by agreeing too quickly to
what is said. Listening means accepting the person and taking what is
said seriously.
We have no need to
be angry, nor have we need to be afraid. The best cures for these two
ills are love. And Christ supplies our hearts with love in abundance
when we ask for it. And we have Christ's guarantee that our dialogue
will not be in vain. Because whoever is not against us is for us.
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